Mayank 的个人资料Speech of Thoughts - May...照片日志列表更多  |  工具 帮助 |
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4月20日 My Expereince IN DamanMy Daman Experience
When I went there, for a week I lived in the office guest house that was booked fpr me....during this time we kept on searching for a suitable accomodation where I could live freely as I am on wheel chair and need to have everthing obstacle free and in approach in home. At last I found a place which was good in all aspects. After shifting to there our next task was to arrange for household things like Gas connection bed etc. for the next one week we arranged for all these things. then My dad how had gone there with me to help me settle over there left, I felt very lonely there as I have never been away from my family for even 2-3 days. But this time I had to live and managemyself alsone for more than a MONTH. but anyway my Paternal uncle was with me, but I am not very close to him and he also tried to cheat me on every aspect of day to day task. Like when I give him money to buy something, he comeout with all the money wasted on other things apart from the thing that I wanted to buy.but anyway anyhow i managed all these days, I also got sick over there as the water was not well purified there and my stomach got upset. My office timings were 7:0 am to 1:30 pm. I was able to reach home around 2:00 after that we start making our meal....tell you that we had never cooked before.....so cooking was more experimentation than just cooking, It normally gets 5:00pm when we get our food on dinning table.....so I could not feel hungry rest of the day and lived with just one time meals. Theres still more to tell about the people and office experience in Daman 11月9日 Nice QuoteThis is a nice Quote which gives the strength to face the bad times and not to be proud of good days as noth are not going to last forever
Days end with sunset, nights with the rising of the sun; the end of pleasure is ever grief, the end of grief ever pleasure. 11月7日 One Spooky Evening!!I Belong to a family of braves. None of our family members ever believed on any kind of supernatural things and supernatural sayings. I have heared so many persons saying about there confrontation with ghosts or other ghostly moments of there lives, but I never believed on them as I knew that theres nothing like that.
But what happened to my maternal Uncle made me believe on them. what he faced is really scarey..
Heres what happened with him
On 4th November he was coming from his working place. It was not toodark at that time. the time was around 5:30 PM as he was on a motorbike he was going calmly across the lonely streets, theres a stretch in his way where no population lives around. when he was going through that, he saw a man in white cloths running on his side, he thought that it may be some thief who is trying to steal his blonging taking the benifit of empty street, so he speeded his bike faster, but that person also raced ahead to him, at that moment my uncle was around 100KPH and that person was running side by side, he didnt realise that he is driving that fast and how could a normal person could run that fast, suddenly he saw three very old persons standing on the side of road, and they yelled that stop competing with that person, just stop and that person will go away, so my uncle did so, and so did that person in white cloths also, as that person moved across the beam of light coming from the head light of the bike my uncle saw that the person was quite normal in appearence but had long black teeths and was making a very strange noice...which was something like scraching something sharp on metal thing, when that person went into the bushes on the side of road, those three bearded person said to my uncle not to worry and they are with him, my uncle thanked them and asked to walk with him, in there way those persons told my uncle about that strange person whom my uncle had just met...they said that during the floods some dead bodies of the persons also went away with the running water of flood those bodies sometimes are being captureed by evil sprits and live forever in these rotten bodies...and if you had not stopped at that time it would have taken it as challange and after defeating you it would have killed you and burried your head in the fields around...as my uncle was listening to them he remembered that in recent past there were some instaces in which police have no clue and the dead bodies were found in the fields
So after going a quite distance together as the crowded part of the route was about to come for the utter surprise of my uncle those three bearded persons disappeared,.... when my uncle reached home and told about the whole instance every one was surprised as we knew that he cant lie... he was sweating from tip to toe.... he said from now onwards I will never say that there is nothing like supernatural....
And as he was telling about the instance he suddenly remembered that he had seen one of those bearded persons.. and then piked his bike and ran to an old tomb of an saint who had died quite along time ago and there was a potrait of him in that tomb and my uncle used to go to that tomb and lit the incense sticks there, he recognised that potrait at once as one of those bearded persons....
Now after going though that moment he has started beliving on the existance of ghost....
,,,,,...but after knowing this, my belief on GOD has increased too much and every little strain of doubt is removed....
I hope that I will meet the God one day and thats too before dying..
Mayank
PS: I swear that what ever I said is truth 8月24日 I Learnt to say NOToday in the morning One of my friend called me....He wanted a very precious CD of mine. So I refused to him as I was also in need of it, in the response he just hanged up the phone with saying anything. This is the first time I have ever refused for anything......I always used to give my belongings to my friends even if I had to face sever criticism for doing that from my family...the problem was that I dont know how to say "NO" but this time when I could not give as I myself was in desperate need of it...my friend should have understood it....that there is some reason why I am saying no but by that pathatic behaviour I think I had spoiled my friendship my always being there for there help....I should have learnt to said no much earlier... now my friends tend to take me for granted...they dont understand my problem...
I think that thats not FRIENDSHIP
If I care for them then they should also do the same...iof not that much then atleast should not hurt me.... :(
Waiting for a true
 FriendMayank  8月23日 an outing todayYesterday I went out to have some fun
I went to somestreet side stalls to have some junk food eating some thing absurd at these kind of stalls has its own enjoyment which you cant get in sitting in posh hotels and in a cousy chair, I had not been to these stalls for almost 7 years now I really enjoyed it, the atmosphere was alot different there was no dress code (no need of it) no care for eating in a diciplined way, every one was doing what they want to, at first I got a bit hasitated as when I ordered a chat for me (for those who dont know hindi I will explain this word chat later if you want) the hawker looked me in a strange way I dont know whats wrong in asking that as all persons around me were eating the same thing, when he gave me that chat I felt very strange as everyone was looking at my plate LOL as if there is something different in it, after sometime sitting there and eating, I came to know that there is nothing wrong in that hawker's looking at me that way as he used to see every person the same way, and the persons around just see at plate 'cause there is nothing around else to se.....HAHAHA.....
anyway I enjoyed that moment as it was free every person there was free, I felt very relaxed there,
on the other hand my stomach is still feeling bad for what I ate..........
MAYANK 8月14日 IncompletenessNow a days I am feeling a sense of thoughtlessness.......
I dont know why but still there is nothing on whcih I could concentrate....
may be its due to something that I have left incomplete....and cant remember....
This is a problem with me I cant leave any thing incomplete........even when I was small If I decide that I have to complete this chapter then I used to Do IT no matter If for doing this I have to be awake till 4 or 5 in night......but after that task is completed I felt very relaxed....this is true with me still now...but now I cant remember what I have left incomplete..........
I have also been in trouble because of this ...... When I am angry with some one then too I dont left this ager incomplete I normally just do what I want to no matter what happen afterward........ once when I was in school there was a guy named Monty he was almost double of me in size, In biceps (He was a sort of BAD GUY of the class) ..... we went into some argument and He said that he can through me out of school and thats too infront of full class room......and I cant endure this so I just went overlooking his strength and slapped as hard as I could on his face.........and the result......I dont remember......I woke in school dispencery...(hehehe).....but after that day he was no more a threat to students in class....and miraculously I become the Hero of class...because when I was unconcious school principle came and suspended him........
I need total completeness....in every aspect of my life....I want everything related to me COMPLETE...be it my friendship, my love,my career, my sleep, my studies.......anything....everything
So I am going to bed now........and have to think of that INCOMPLETE TASK........Bye Take care 8月12日 The Unsaid TruthSome time I feel Like there is something which is there which is left unsaid.........and its better that way...........why to say somewthing which could hurt some one..........and thats too..just for being truthful...........I prefer To lie at that time as this lie is better then that blunt truth........
As I was ill for some time ........my grand mother came to visit me (she is almost 90 something in age has a wrinkeled up face)........she loves me a lot........and so do I.....she belong to a very remote Village....so really dont know about the problem I am facing...........Every time she come to visit me the first question she asks is......."Now do you feel anything in your legs.....can you move them now".........My dad dont like this question as he thinks this question may hurt me.....It does..... but more than that there is love and care in those questions and in her eyes which does not let me to say the truth to her...........Instead of just refusing any improvement I normally say that there is cure of this and soon I too will be normal.......after hearing this answer the spark of hope in her old eyes really make me very happy..........
This Unsaid truth is better this way 7月31日 Guess whoWhen Ever I was sad she was with me......... ......when Ever I felt like broken and just lost hope.... ...........she was there to help me gather myself back...... .... and ready for facing life in a new way.... ....when ever i felt depressed I just thought of her and ...I gain myself back...
Wondering who she would be.............try to think.........cant think......she is my MOM
I love you MOM....And will always love you 7月30日 Happy day todayI have got a happy day today
I got a Sister and thats too one who is older then me and much smarter then me and who can guide me
her name is Sandra.........we met just through the internet..........I think I need emotional support Because I feel very lonely some times and when there is someone with whom you can share you happiness and sorrow then it would be the best wish which come true.........
Thanks Sis for being there
Mayank 7月20日 Ambiguously SpecialToday I am planning to do something special........
think what .......
cant think!!!..
how could you ? ....
even I have not thought of it now...hahaha.......but still I want to do something special
.....I want to make a stranger feel happy........thats it 7月15日 Happy Birthday To MeToday is my Birthday.................I am planning to enjoy my birthday party :)
7月13日 I am sad today :(
Today I got three interview calls from different companies two of them just flew off as soon as they came to know that I am on Wheel Chair(As I cant walk due to Spinal Injury)........but the third one had there process on ground floor so they called me up for the interview......my dad dont want me to work for private firms but I tried very hard to convince him to take me to the interview center( as the driver was on leave) when I reached there ......there were 20 stairs to lift....So I was unable to join the company and returned with a dull face again to that dull world of free lancing( As I work from home for web/software development)
I dont know why he called me up for the interview if they dont have provisions for wheel chair persons
I am used to be put off by the employers as soon as they listen about my disability but.....these guys were really redicules
I wish one day whole world would give equal opportunities and will have provision for wheel chair using persons
7月7日 Changestoday I met my friends after a long seperation(thats for me) it was really nice talking to all of them....we talked about all that I missed being away from here and what they missed for not being with me........
In my holidays major part of my day was filled with enjoyment........there I met many different persons try to talk to them even if they dont understand what I am talking and I dont understand waht they are talking about but ...still it is really interesting........that time I came to know if you dont have a common language then you are not better then a dumb.........anyway as I have a hobby of making friends so I made a lot of friends even there even with all that diversity and differences..........also i tried different type of foods....but one was really special it is known as kahawa its made of saffron and milk and tastes brilliant,,,,,,,,
Anyway after taking too much food I had to take rest ......in some place which is private to everyone
 Now as I am back its a mixed feeling of coming back and leaving that butiful place back
but changes are a part of life ...and I am looking forward to god to put more changes in my life 6月22日 Worst day todayToday you can say that is the worst day of my life......so far........In the Morning I got up late and after taking bath and all I set to give a final touch for the prepration of my exam which is going to be today ......and as the time came to leave for the examination center and I sat in the car I was out of my wits as it stopped suddenly and stopped respondin I called the service man he said the battery is down and I didnt have the time to replace it so I called the taxi but taxii took another 1/2 an hour to reach my home and when I reached the examination center the examination was already started half an hour ago and for being late there was no compensation in time was provided to me .....So finally I had to leave 2 question of my paper....Which I knew how to solve but after all theres nothing to regret now..... 6月19日 a small outing todayToday the day was going as hectic possible till one of my very good friend came to my place to meet me......We went outside and set in the park glaring at the sun setting......Clouds are all overthe sky at the horizon...it seems like sun ,after getting tired, is going to sleep in the bed of clouds wearing a blanket of clouds........after few moments the sun set and stars started peeking from the curtain of clouds like a small child who is shy of coming out and just peeks momentraily and as soon as we see him it hides again behind the curtain........Wind started getting cooler and refreshing, trees were also seemed to enjoying this by waving there branches with joy and making noice which sounds like they are clapping ................birds were flying to there nests and the persons were also going to there homes we human beings say that we are very much developed and intelligent but I dont see anydifference between human beings and animals they both work for have ther stomach full and of there siblings they feed them fight for them love to sleep in night......Everything is very much same the difference just lies in the behaviour we can lie and they cant we can sheat and they normally dont .............. In the park each face was telling a different story when I tried to know it from there face....guys who are young were looking at the sky with eyes full of spark and talking to there friends with smiling faces and a glare of careless ness which was totally absent on the faces of aged persons.....this care lesss ness this joy fullness is gradually replaced by tensions of life as we get older....ome one was just looking here and there ...like he has missed something...........Anyway I enjoyed those moments verymuch...... 6月18日 hmmmGot a very hactic day today.....But still I was in the home...its been a long time now not getting out of my home...this makes me sick sometime....the only way by which I think i can remain alive is by work and laugh 6月14日 I am SAD todayToday I am sad..............As I have wasted a very much precious thing for nothing ........that precious thing is my day........I really did nothing today .....nothing for which i could think like I made my a bit fruitful....I have lost this precious day in doing things which are not of any use neither for me and neither for anyone......I just woke and watched TV did some surfing went out to park talked ...watched TV agin and thats all.......And now I am regreting on that..... ...........But all this time there was something inside me which was saying that "Stop!!!... do someting useful, something productive".......but my playful mind, which just wants to entertain and nothing else, forced that sound to silence.......I think if one listen to what his inner voice is telling him to do ....then one could be the Idol person........But most of us have learnt to suppress that voice and ignore it.........May be that is the voice of that allmighty who does not want us to waste a butiful day that he has provided to us......Life is very unpredictable .....may be the next day is last day of our life ......and if in the end you have nothing to show ...that you have achieved and if you have done nothing that has changed even the life of a single person then this is the loss of gods this butiful creation (HUMAN) as we all are just the creation of that mighty ONE.........
Today I want to make a promise to myself that from nowonwards eachday I will work that much which could relax my inner voice my inner force ....and that would be the ultimate worship for that ONE 6月10日 A Silly MistakeToday I made the silliest mistake of this year ......... I was preparing for my exams for almost 2 months now....for that i was doing late night studies and even studying for almost 16 hours a day
But now nothing could be done and even I could not tell this to anyone else there as this will mean making them just laugh thats it........
So what I learnt today is that dont rely on what you may be knowing .....you have to update yourself with the latest.......if you dont then u will be there again writing a "silly mistake" BLOG 6月8日 Loss of controlLife is full of strange thing.... may it be dealing with your life or with your mood......Sometimes mood become as unpredictive as the life itself there are many things in common with mood and climate......Sometimes it resembels with the calmity of morning with soft sun rising from the west birds flying and making sweet sounds of comfort and sometimes it becomes as destrutive as an raging storm destroying everything which comes in its way ........and sometime it become gloomy and somber like an evening of rainyday with everything wet with the drops of rain..........Today the evening the mood was gloomy but in the evening with some disruption and as tension was building on me I got irritated and then comes the storm....... And now I am regreting what I did If one coould control its emotional burts at times then onee could be a better person ..........very happy in the end of the day and may be more successful and praised 6月6日 my day todayToday the day started as boring as never I woke up late as I fogot to set the alarm and then had lunch etc... but in the evening the day become a bit interesting as it rained and i LOVE rain specially having bath inthis natural shower ......I used to do this but since this ijury happened to me I have got a bit confined to home ...... .....as I was watching on the roads I saw some teenagers who may be returning from evening walk were enjoying rain and they were dancing and singing songs loudly......What a show of personal happiness and worryless ness I wisjed I too be one of them....But one cant have everything that he wants...so I am still happy in watching them from my house with a cupof tea in my hands..... |
I think I agian will not be able to topthe Universtity which was my dream..........
....but In that much hactic schedule I forgot to look again at the hallticket(which had the details of the paper timings and date of exams) which has been updated without my knowledge.......and when today I went to examination center I was very much confident that I will score really good grade but for my utter surprise and dismise...I came to know there that there was no paper today for which I have prepared and it was the one which I have not even revised once..........
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